Return to site

Hey boss! Stop mom-shaming.

· Work,Confidence,Ethics

As mothers, we have all experienced one way or another some mom-shaming comments, essentially -and shamefully- from other moms. Some little sentences like:

"Where's the baby?" When you had the bad idea to go out instead of staying home with him...

"Don't you miss your kids?" When you had the arrogance to coming back to work instead of staying home with your kids...

Today, I want to talk about the mom shaming we deal with from our bosses and other colleagues. Have you experimented it? I did.

Few years back, the day I've announced my pregnancy, among the usual "congrats" from my boss, I've also had that little -sneaky- question "Was it planned?". What a lovely question...

Then the day I've decided to not coming on board that start-up, the guy in charge told me "Yes, I always thought the kids could be a problem..." Well, actually he was the problem, not the kids, not the startup.

My point here is, why in 2017 having some children and working is still a problem for a lot of people, your boss?

Your boss will think he's been cheated because you've decided to have a kid, he will feel that you're not as available as you were to work every night, he feels that your priorities have shifted.

But the reality is that we want all, family AND career. So the reality will be to work and take care of your kids, leaving the office, not going to the after-work happy hour, not going to those networking events, being judged by your no-kids co-workers, juggling with all the sick days, the appointments and of course the work that you'll do at night, after the kids are asleep. It feels degrading.

Mom-shaming should stop. You should not be ashamed of your choices, whether you stay at home or you work in an office. It's your choice, not your boss', not the society's. Get over it, people!

Some of you would think " Hey! what about the dad? Can't he help?" He does, he helps a lot. But, I've noticed that when it's time to take a sick-day for your kid, the company will better accept it if the mother takes it instead of the father. Yep!...

Even when you want to balance, society reminds you it's not possible.

Sometimes, it looks like they're no solutions. When you try to balance things with your partner, even then, the society seems to find it awkward that your partner could help and take his part in the raising of the kid.

So, you try not to talk about your kids at work. You draw a clear line between work and private life. If you don't, a lovely person will probably remind you : "Yes, I thought the kids would be a problem..." It's sad.

At the end of the day, it's your life and you already do your best, so, you know, just let people thinks what they want and...

All Posts

Almost done…

We just sent you an email. Please click the link in the email to confirm your subscription!

OKSubscriptions powered by Strikingly